I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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