I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
