she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
