I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
