It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
