After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
