aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
