Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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