Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
