Banned from zoo.
Again?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
