I need help removing her.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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