Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I am spending my child support on dildos
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He shit in the fireplace
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize