capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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