You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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