i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
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I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
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My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Shame is for Republicans.
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