redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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