I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
