My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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