He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
