I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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