5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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