It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My life is pants optional.
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