no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's blow job season.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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