I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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