do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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