I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
