so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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