we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He better not be in your backpack
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
