Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
