I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
