goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
