How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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