i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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