Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
