I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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