Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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