why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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