Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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