it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
