u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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