Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize