two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We were destined to go to rehab together
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
