spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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