porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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