i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wish i was in the wii world.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Randomize
