So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown