he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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