Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
