I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize