Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
