areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
