Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
