If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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