The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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