ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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