i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
