This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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