Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Ketchup is God's man juice
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
