i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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