I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why did my mother make you get naked?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
