you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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