If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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